Thursday, December 23, 2010

Christmas, past and present

My dad was the epitome of Christmas. I mean, the man lived it all year round. He volunteered about a dozen different places and was always doing favors for friends and neighbors. Wimpy was just a good man, plain and simple.
I lost him to cancer 4 years ago. My life has never been the same. To all of you who've lost loved ones, well, you know the feeling. My way of explaining it is as follows: I believe that we are all born with rays of light (soul shine)...when we lose a loved one, these rays fade out and die too. So I feel like I lost a big chunk of light on that sunny, humid August morning, when my dad passed away.
Anyhoo, back to the Christmas part....Dad made Christmas for my family. He decorated everything...and I mean EVERYTHING! There was even a Santa toilet cover!! And he had a Santa door mat that when you stepped on it, would go "HO HO HO" really loud!! About gave me a heart attack the first time I stepped on it...and he roared with laughter!
When I was a kid he had these black footprints made...and told me and my brother that they were Santa's. He would go outside and throw pebbles on the roof on Christmas Eve and have mom tell us it was Santa and we'd better get to bed!! He was amazing....and always got us everything on our wish list, and I know that it was a financial hardship sometimes. But he never complained.
So now that Dad is no longer here, Christmas has lost a lot of it's magic for me. The first 2 years after he died, I couldn't even spend Christmas at his house...instead I went and got my mom and brought her to Barboursville. But last year and this year will be spent at mom's. She's a Christmas freak too....but it's not the same as having Dad here. Oh, I still celebrate....because I know my dad would want me to. But I'm pretty much a basket case until it's over. I cry at the drop of a hat during this season. I still love Christmas too. It's that one time of year when people are just a little nicer than usual....well, for the most part. And I try to keep in mind the REASON FOR THE SEASON.
A few drinks here and there is also very helpful this time of year. Just sayin'!! So there ya go Mark. My part of your blog. Thanks for letting me post.....but dammit, you made me cry...again!

1 comment:

Mark said...

Lynda, that was so heartfelt, Ioved the part about "soul shine". Thanks for sharing. Love ya, Bunches Bonnie