Thursday, December 23, 2010

Funny Faces

My Dad loved to make funny faces and make people laugh.  He was the best at it.  I think I've inherited his sense of humor and art of facial distortion.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal.  Love leaves a memory no one can steal. -Irish quote


Lynda brought this to my attention.  If you'd like to contribute to the blog, I have to have your e-mail address in order to make you an author.  Sorry folks, this is all new to me.

Christmas, past and present

My dad was the epitome of Christmas. I mean, the man lived it all year round. He volunteered about a dozen different places and was always doing favors for friends and neighbors. Wimpy was just a good man, plain and simple.
I lost him to cancer 4 years ago. My life has never been the same. To all of you who've lost loved ones, well, you know the feeling. My way of explaining it is as follows: I believe that we are all born with rays of light (soul shine)...when we lose a loved one, these rays fade out and die too. So I feel like I lost a big chunk of light on that sunny, humid August morning, when my dad passed away.
Anyhoo, back to the Christmas part....Dad made Christmas for my family. He decorated everything...and I mean EVERYTHING! There was even a Santa toilet cover!! And he had a Santa door mat that when you stepped on it, would go "HO HO HO" really loud!! About gave me a heart attack the first time I stepped on it...and he roared with laughter!
When I was a kid he had these black footprints made...and told me and my brother that they were Santa's. He would go outside and throw pebbles on the roof on Christmas Eve and have mom tell us it was Santa and we'd better get to bed!! He was amazing....and always got us everything on our wish list, and I know that it was a financial hardship sometimes. But he never complained.
So now that Dad is no longer here, Christmas has lost a lot of it's magic for me. The first 2 years after he died, I couldn't even spend Christmas at his house...instead I went and got my mom and brought her to Barboursville. But last year and this year will be spent at mom's. She's a Christmas freak too....but it's not the same as having Dad here. Oh, I still celebrate....because I know my dad would want me to. But I'm pretty much a basket case until it's over. I cry at the drop of a hat during this season. I still love Christmas too. It's that one time of year when people are just a little nicer than usual....well, for the most part. And I try to keep in mind the REASON FOR THE SEASON.
A few drinks here and there is also very helpful this time of year. Just sayin'!! So there ya go Mark. My part of your blog. Thanks for letting me post.....but dammit, you made me cry...again!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Dec. 2006

     This was the last Christmas that Dad was able to come to Huntington. Looking at this pic now, I recall he was having great difficulty with mobility and he was hunching over due to pain in his back and legs.  I remember when the doctor told us that he had "Alzheimer's".  I cursed God for allowing this to happen to my lovable, caring, big-hearted buddy.  I immediately began trying to obtain as much knowledge as I could on the subject.  As I began to read about the different stages of this horrid disease, I started crying and somehow moved myself into a state of denial.  I stopped reading info. about anything pertaining to Alzheimer's.  I naively thought, maybe it will go away, maybe the doctor was wrong, maybe Dad can beat this. Its strange how your brain can trick you and go into self preservation mode.
     I just sent two messages to Rick and Sheena.  I told them that origionally I designed this site in hopes of helping someone out there in the vast internet.  I have since realized that someone is "ME".  I have been off my anti-depressants for over a month.  I am so happy to be getting back to myself, instead of feeling like a zombie in one of Bill's horror flicks.  I think this blog is just what I need to work through unresolved issues of pain, anguish, loss and fear.
     If anyone out there should have a loved one who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  This is a very helpful link.  For the past two years,  I have been involved in their walk for awareness and I was so happy to have my sister, Sharon join me this last time.  So, here's the link:

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

My Dad, Don Hayes...

This is my Dad, as I'd like to think of this pic, as of him flying to heaven.  My father died in Dec. of 2008, and I miss him everyday.  He was an original man, no one like him.  He was the best father a man could have.  He was a hard worker and a man of character.  My niece, Kelli ask me to post this as my FB status:

 God saw you getting tired & a cure was not to be. So he put his arms around you & whispered come with me. With tearful eyes we watched & saw you pass away. Although we love you dearly, we could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest. God broke our hearts to prove to us he only takes the best.

Self Promoting my "Holidaze Therapy" blog

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

Ah yes.  Christmas !! The time to be merry; thus, Merry Christmas !!   Christmas around the Daniels home is never dull.  We define the "Griswald" Christmas.  Always chaotic it seems - never enough laughter ;  for me, never enough booze.  Not been in the holiday spirit here as hard as I try. Maybe its because there's no kids in the house anymore.. My daughter will be 21 in a month, my son is 16 --they don't believe in Santa.  Shocker isn't it.. lol  This will be the 2nd Xmas without mom for us this year.. She died suddenly on Nov. 3, 2009 at 5:53 am .  Its wild how I can remember that...the date, exact time... I was talking to Mark and we were kinda venting about the holidays... We were gettng ready to hang up and I say, Well, i guess I'm gonna go and put that GOD DAMN  tree up.... I hear a roar of laughter on the other end of the phone.. The tree did NOT go up that day..  Being a  prelit tree, I set it up in the perfect spot... work for what seemed like hours fluffing its pre lit brances and just like the Clark Griswald, i plug it in..  ONLY 1/2 the freakin lights work. Now how am I gonna resolve this situation ? I take the damn thing BACK apart , throw it in the box and drag its 1/2 LIT ASS back across the yard and throw it in the storeage building... Merry Freakin Xmas, the holiday season begins..
The memories of Xmas past? Let me share one that sticks out in my mind...We call it "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" as this was the year that song become so popular.  Mom had hip replacement surgery aprx. 15 years earlier right around Christmas.  Tradionally, everyone comes to our house Xmas eve.. This particular year of the 'hip surgery' was one we talk about every year.. a tradition so to speak. Mom and Dad lives next door to us so mom had walked over to our house earlier that evening with her walker in toe.. *she had hip surgery, remember?  Sis and I are working in the kitchen, cooking, rushing, not enjoyng ourselfs but trying to prepair the feast of the evening. Mom is sitting there in her "DUSTER" as she called her cotton robe and looks outside and notices that it is beginning to snow.  I better get back to the house before it gets to bad she says over the noise in the kitchen; sis and i still prepairing the roast beast. Mom grabs her "WALKER" and starts out the door and leaves.  It's snowng pretty good outside now. I know at least 1/2 has passed and we start hearing ths scratching sound comng from outside.  Must be ice forming on the siding I think... sis and I working our ass off trying to get things finished before company comes a callin.  45 minutes surely has passed by now and I need vanilla for the candy I'm making.  I pick up the phone and call mom to see if she has some I can borrow... In the background sis says, What Is That Noise??  It's really getting on my nerves... Hell, I don't know and really could give a rats ass at this point.. I need vanilla..Dad answers the phone and I tell him to ask mom if she has vanilla I could borrow. His reply?  well isn't she still out there?  OK, at least an hour has past by this point.  I put the phone down, and tell sis, OMG where the hell is mom ? We've lost her... I run to the door and noticed it would open.  Then as I pressed harder I could hear a faint voice saying,  'help me up' coming from the deck... I  run to the other door  with my sis on my heels...... we go around the house to the front and there lays mom snow covered ... on my deck against our door..  she's fallen and with the recent hip surgery, she couldn't get up...  Yes, we always think of mom when we hear that Life Alert commercal also.  The words I remember my sis asking is, Mom what are you doing down there in a tone like you would scold a kid.   My reply?  She's got run over by a freakin reindeer, what the hell do you THINK she's doing down there snow covered and nearly frozen...Now, help me get her up...We dust the snow off her, and drag her back in the house, thawing her out the best we could.  The next year, mom got the delux stuffed reindeer that played, Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.  And  YES we play that song every year, as the prelude before we tell the  story of how Mom got run over by a Reindeer. .. making the story bigger each time we told it.  Mom would always laugh till tears ran down her face.... EVERYTIME !!!   Why am I rattling so much about this lame story?  Damn'd if I know.  BTW mark, we finally got that God Damn Tree put up last nite..  :)

Monday, December 20, 2010

Continued Blog Description...

I have had a very challenging time creating this blog.  Since it is my first effort, I didn't know what I was doing, except for being too wordy.  I had a very lengthy description about my hopes for this site.  However, I exceeded the 500 character count.  So, let me just say, everyone is welcome to share their personal thoughts on why they may not be feeling the holiday spirit this year. You may have a loved one that has recently died.  Maybe its due to a lack of belongingness, maybe you don't have a home to go to for the holidays.  Perhaps you are separated from your friends and family due to war.  Sadly, you may not be able to accept change well, like myself, and you long for a simpler time in your life.  I hope you utilize this blog as a safe site to find solace to: vent, scream, share personal experiences, anecdotes, jokes, or cuss like a sailor that would make a person with Tourette's blush.  Whatever you'd like to share, I'm interested in knowing your experiences.  Hey, its cheaper than therapy.